ALOD: The 1.6B Maller

It took me ages to work out what ALOD means, I was too embarrassed to ask my corp mates but always enjoyed seeing poorly fit and incredibly expensive losses on TheMittani.com. At last I found it represents “Awful Loss Of The Day”, and the time has come for me to post one of my own. This is also soon to be featured on TMC, so for more literate and intelligent coverage look there (I didn’t even get a response to my application to write for them).

Let’s start with the mails:

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=16775798

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=16776394


Story-time:

It was an amicable evening, hanging out with Waffles bros and taking our usual mismatch of spare T1 cruisers to play with the Brave Newbies. After playing around with them for a while a bad punt took us onto their station, where we found a solo Maller sat a bit to the side, but still well within the docking ring. The rest of their 50-man fleets was 500km above us so we managed a pro-bump to get him off station, in the hope that he was AFK. He was. Commence blappage with extreme prejudice and Gallastian (our FC at the time) made the call to shoot the wreck and bugger off before they used it to warp onto us.

“DON’T SHOOT IT LOOT IT!” came the cry from Theon, we all revelled in this glorious killmail and summarily fell apart laughing in comms. With the wreck looted we CAREFULLY convoyed out loot back to Assah for selling, though not before we offered him to buy it back (at a significant markup for not having to fly all the way to Jita to replace it). Sadly he did not take us up on our offer.

All 9 of us involved in the kill got a cool 80mill payout, and you can see here BNIs reaction to the killmail. The bold is a few Waffles new bio/signature.

Rat Raholan > I can’t stand t011phr33
Ice Brewer > You saw the mail‚ we need tо mustеr up, and fuck them up!
Xanthia Extremоphil > thеy MIGHT put it into reinforced then we will deal with it
Ice Brewer > EVERYONE – I’m flying 22 bloody jumps, we need ALL hands active and ready to fight NOW – Our offices, our home is under attack – Ѕtop whatever your doing‚ and LETS FUCK THEM UP
Xanthia Extremоphil > it would bе fun if they werent bitches and wоuld just start kiting us and killing all thе frigs that get too far off from us
Ice Brewer > Ѕeriously‚ we’re a pvp fleet, thats scared оf pvp – Don’t givе me that bullshit. We’re nоobs, wе want a fight, our offices are under attack.
Matt Dreido > Ice Brewer we aren’t going in to a losing fight

https://www.pandemic-legion.com/kill….php?id=590043

https://www.pandemic-legion.com/kill….php?id=590042

Allison Luinin > holy shit
Ice Brewer > Please say thats kick worthy…
ЅtarShipCaptain Bob > Ice Brewer We don’t kick for loses‚ thats fоr sеriоus businеss bads
Ice Brewer > Yeah, but theres losses, and theres losing 1.6bm and 800m in implants, to a enemy corp who will mock us forever
Rat Raholan > Ice Brewer Don’t worry, they’ll mock us no matter what we do.
ЅtarShipCaptain Bob > no fight guys‚ chill
Rasmir > is there a mining оp up ?
Vincеnt Fidessa > well
Vincent Fidessa > time tо load up my training quеue
Vinсent Fidessa > before i go into rehab

Let’s do a slot-by-slot analysis (something I really shouldn’t say to my hypothetical girlfriend….unless she plays EVE?).

For you EFT warriors out there:

Highs:

A full rack of True Sansha Heavy Beam Lasers (for that long range ownage with the 5% tracking implant), of course fitted with T1 Crystals because then you have infinite ammo! Gotta save dat ISk ammirite? As far as I know not even wormhole bros use faction guns, they are one of the easiest ways to shout I HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY AND NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT in EVE.

Mids:

So we have an Caldari Navy Adaptive Invuln, the Storyling Cap Battery and the True Sansha Cap recharger. Admittedly his fit is indeed cap stable at 68%, but somehow I think that may be besides the point.

Lows:

To finish the inevitable dual tank, we have a deadspace adaptive hardener and repper, which will be damn useful given that his total EHP is just over 13k, and without any form of a prop mod it’s going to be hard to stay away from those nasty pirates. Then we have the faction overdive to make up for the lack of a prop mod (?) and two faction power diagnostics to (unecessarily) help with fittings, or maybe the cap amount/shield? Finally, a storyline warp core stabilizer for when the heat is just to much and you have to engage operative GTFO.

Rigs:

3 Medium CCCs, gotta have that cap stability man.

Inspired by this most glorius of killmails, Gallastian stuck up conversation with the fellow to find out how he paid for it, sadly not as many tears for forum porn as some of you may hope but worth the read none the less. I’ll note here that his character was ~3 months old at the time of the kill.

[ 2013.03.12 20:02:46 ] Gallastian Khanid > Hello good sir
[ 2013.03.12 20:02:51 ] Gallastian Khanid > would you like to buy your loot back?
[ 2013.03.12 20:02:52 ] Irego Calente > hey
[ 2013.03.12 20:03:03 ] Irego Calente > no thanks
[ 2013.03.12 20:03:25 ] Gallastian Khanid > Ok. You sure? It would be easier than buying it separately again.
[ 2013.03.12 20:03:37 ] Irego Calente > yeah
[ 2013.03.12 20:04:08 ] Gallastian Khanid > Ok. How did you get all that awesome stuff?
[ 2013.03.12 20:05:15 ] Irego Calente > bougth it sold some plex
[ 2013.03.12 20:05:45 ] Irego Calente > bye dude

So there we have it. Dude spends what, 4 PLEX, or ~£60 on a ship and pod then AFKs in it with regular pirates being active in local. My best wishes and deepest gratitude to him and his comrades for providing such entertainment for us over the past two weeks.

Apoth ♥

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One thought on “ALOD: The 1.6B Maller

  1. dreamer

    do people not understand this game is unforgiving? or do they not understand how unforgiving this game actually is?

    Reply

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